It’s Jabbok and Jacob and a fight

through the night about who I am

Says Casting Crowns that I am yours

but where are you that I can

wrestle with you?

I’ll throw you will this

monologue, sharp words from my splintered self

You engineered and schemed

me to be alone to be highly paid worthless and to run

RUN, run away from the void function that returns nothing

not even a full stop.

Or is this your deep learning, AI-engine, not real, but artificial, like the one-sided silence

I endure maybe my brother is right

that you are not and if you are

you don’t care

But what nonsense to continue

against You when You have done

You have spoken and I called on you

and you have delivered

parcels of joy in You and not in me

I need glasses now when I read

but then how bright the focus

until I forget again

I must be getting old

And there in the cold dark night

you fought this wimp

You lost

You died

He held on

for a new name and a limp.